My Time at Respite

'Respite' is the name of a retreat some of our ARUMC campus ministries started doing together in January at Mount Eagle Retreat Center to help students rejuvenate between the fall and spring semesters. What follows is a reflection a student wrote following their experience there. This student asked to remain anonymous. 

Hello, my name is ____ and this is the story of giving my life to God.

So, I’ll start during Christmas break. A lot in my life was taken from me over Christmas break. My girlfriend who I was getting ready to marry left me on a whim, my old friends abandoned me, and I was already struggling in my walk with God because the God I grew up knowing was spiteful and hateful.

Then I started school again and not a lot was looking up. The stress of the new semester was already piling up. I had decided that if this is how God was rewarding me for starting to follow him again then I wanted no part of it. Then Dennis [the Campus Minister] reached out to me and scheduled a meeting. I was like “ok I’ll go and just fake my way through this meeting.”

So, I meet with Dennis, and he just asks how my break was, and I tell him the truth. He was there for me and listened to every word. I left out the part that I was turning away from God. He then brought up Respite at Mount Eagle. I had previously told him I didn’t want to go but he brought it up anyway. 'Whatever' I thought. I decided that I could use the time away anyway. So, I told him OK I’ll go.

This was the best choice I could’ve made. When we got to Mount Eagle, it was so peaceful. I immediately met someone who I’ve become really close with and she helped me realize that not everyone believes in the same spiteful God I had come to know. I met a new God at Respite. I was forced to think of all the peace that God brings to everything. I was able to observe the beauty that he has made in the world. I went and watched the sunrise with others from different Wesley groups around Arkansas. I was able to connect with them and hear their stories. I realized that God loves me for who I am and that he is an amazing God who made me for a reason. I went on a prayer walk and I felt his presence wash over me and put me at peace. I realized that God isn’t hateful and that he is ever-loving. I saw the things that he is doing through the Ozark Mission Project and Project Transformation and all of the help that these people are doing. But most of all I felt his peace and realized he has a plan for me.

He put different people in my life for a reason and he took them out for a reason too. I feel like I’m a completely different person since Respite. At the end of Respite, I decided to give my life back to God and let his will be done. So I chose to participate in communion and I felt that it meant something different to me and God than it might have meant to anyone else. It signified my accepting him back into my life and giving my life back to him.

The retreat has jumpstarted a lot in my life. I’ve gotten closer to friends I haven’t talked to in a long time. I am ever grateful that Dennis asked me to go and continued to be there for me. I may still be in the wilderness in my life right now and my walk with God, but I do believe that as long as I trust in him and continue to follow his path then I will make it through this wilderness.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”  (Psalm 23:1-6)